I’ve been sitting here all day trying to think of what I can say to sum up my trip as it comes to an end. I still have a million more posts to write about our adventures; time just flew by. And yet here I am without words. All of the places and people and views and moments are flashing through my mind on a continuous reel forcing me to relive my time in Colombia.
It feels like a dream.
I can’t believe it happened.
I can’t believe the two people who I spent nearly every minute of everyday together for three months are got on planes the other day and I don’t know when I’ll see them again.
The trip was a whirlwind. Everything happened “about a week ago” and yet an eternity has passed. It’s a typical way for travelers to feel, I know that. But this trip was not just about seeing cool places. This trip was a game changer.
It changed forever the way I want to explore. It changed the way I view challenges. The way I handle things that seem scary. And most importantly, it changed the way I view myself.
I learned my worst habits are the words I use to describe myself and what I can and cannot do. I focus on the negative and create a vocabulary full of phrases like “I can’t” and “I’m not ____enough”. Strong enough. Fast enough. Smart enough. Good enough.
And I learned saying these things enough times is enough to piss off the people who do believe I am enough. This trip put me in a bad place mentally (at first) because I told myself repeatedly I couldn’t do it. Everyday I’d struggle and think, I should just quit. And all the while my travel companions were pissed that I was pissed. They were pissed because I was bringing down the mood, and mostly they were pissed because they believed I could do it.
And then there was the hill two weeks in that made me %100 sure that it was going to be my last day riding. And then immediately after that was the most beautiful, wonderful, perfect ride through one of my favorite parts of Colombia and suddenly everything changed. Suddenly I was fully enjoying myself and wanting more of what I had just experienced. I wasn’t totally cured, but it made a huge difference in my thought process for riding every day.
That’s something you don’t learn sitting at home on your tush or in a therapy session. This tour became my therapy; and every step of the way was something to be learned. I was learning about myself, about my friends, about Colombians, about biking about nature, about everything!
...all of that post was written a few days after arriving back in the states. It’s now almost a month later. I’m not sure what my point was there (as happens a lot with me), but take what you can from it. I watched a TedTalks on my flight and there was something he said that really stuck out to me: he said that confidence compounds. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything more true in my life. Surround yourself with the type of people you want to be like and learn from them. I did that this winter. And all I accomplished allows me to continue to compound my confidence, which I had little of beforehand.
Life is still happening and moving forward, though I wish I could be forever suspended in my Colombian Bike Tour. Now comes the fun part of figuring out how to put what I’ve learned into practice. Wish me luck!